Since I’ve recently started this blog I have been busy trying to figure out how everything works. I’ve gotten some much-needed advice from a dear, hometown gal who has her own amazing and successful blog. She stresses how important it is to get out on social media to promote myself and be seen. Now, remember, I am just a chatty, North Dakota gal who is a bit old school and a tad sheltered. I have not gotten very familiar or interactive with Twitter or Instagram. Most of my friends and family tend to stick to Facebook much more than any of the other social sites. Well, I’m here to tell you this week was different! I not only went all out on Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest and the like, I LIKED and FOLLOWED people like I was a newborn looking for a nipple. Yep, I liked this and followed them and commented on that. Ain’t no one getting past me! 😛
Now, beings I have a creative brain learning how to build my website using detailed information such as CSS, AMP, and infinite scrolls is like sending my husband, a tea drinker, to the parts store to get me a handpicked bean-double-double-skinny-decaf-rice milk-hold the foam with legs coffee drink. It makes no sense! Now, I took my friend’s advice seriously and this week after following, liking and commenting on several blogs, sites and people on social media, I woke up to two amazing comments. You see, I went out on a limb and followed people like Pharrell Williams, MercyMe, Blake Shelton, Carrie Underwood and more. I went BIG! I mean, why not? I normally don’t follow people of this caliber because well, who am I but another fan who enjoys their talents and gifts. The chances of them following me in return would be highly unlikely, in my simple mind at least. Wow, was I mistaken or so I thought!
Early the next morning around 3:30 am, on one of my bathroom excursions, I looked at my phone. With grogginess and slightly blurred vision, I clicked on the Twitter icon alert at the top of my phone. Say what? You aren’t going to believe this but there was a message from a celebrity. Let us call him, Harry. Ladies and gentlemen not only was he following me but he sent me a message saying, Hello. I read it, reread it, rereread again and again in disbelief. Ummm…how can this be? No waaaay. I mean, I’m just me and well…they are them, FAMOUS and all. What do I do? Do I respond? I’m half-witted from lack of sleep and still in a bit of shock. I thought about it and decided this is a once in a lifetime thing. I can’t be rude and disrespect someone of this magnitude. Do I say something fun and exuberant? Should I put a lot of thought into it? To my dismay, HELLO, is all I could muster at that time of the morning. With some anxiety, I pushed send. Right after I pushed the send button a message kicked back saying, not able to send. Well fine! I wasn’t going to give up just yet and therefore tried not once but three more times. Hmmm…ok, well, that’s enough. I’d better give it a rest because if the messages do finally go through, he will think I’m a looney from the boonies by responding four times. Surprisingly, I laid back down and went back to sleep for a bit until I heard some little feet and noticed the dog needed to get out for her potty break. This time it was about 4:30 am-ish. Once again, as I went to lay down after pottying the dog, I looked at my phone. Holy Mary Mother of God! I had another follow and message from another famous person. This time it was from, let us call him…Will. Could it be all the prayers and hard work is already paying off? Is God shining on me? I proceeded to read the message. Will, not only said, hello but asked how I was doing? Oh my Lord! What is this? Two famous people reaching out to me within an hour of each other. Butter my butt and call me a biscuit! I got this! Woot! Woot! But how? Why in the world would they care or even notice me? You can imagine what was going on in this head of mine. The sleepy stupids were getting the best of me! Hmm…then I thought, what if Harry and Will are on tour together having a few drinks, both noticed I followed them and now they are having some fun messing with me! Yep, that’s got to be it. But in my curiosity, and again, not wanting to be rude or disrespectful, I responded with another HELLO and pushed send. To my surprise my message SENT! I was in shock and a little uneasy. However, with all the excitement and stimulation I fell back to sleep until my alarm clock went off a couple of hours later.
At the sound of my alarm, l woke up and got ready for work. I did the usual and greeted my husband and daughters with a good morning. My husband was right beside me all night but very unaware of the happenings from earlier that morning. I’m pretty sure, he could sleep on a clothesline and not be disrupted. I approached him as he was sitting on the couch and spilled all of the exciting goodness of my social media happenings. He didn’t have a huge reaction or show much emotion. Which is quite normal for this very level headed, detailed man of mine. With a flick of my hair and a giggle, I said, “You better watch out.” I then proceeded to tell my daughters the good news. Our youngest daughter said, why are all these people liking and following you? Now, that’s a big confidence booster, right there. Thanks, dear. I ate and said my goodbyes before heading off to work. Our snarky youngest, once again deflated my balloon and said, “Mom, you know the real authentic stars have a blue mark by there name and information, right?” I said, yeh…Will had a blue mark by his response. I don’t know if Harry did because, in all my excitement and the wee hours of the morning, I didn’t stop to look.
I got to work and shared my awesome news with my co-worker. I showed her the responses from Will and Harry right beside their lovely, handsome faces. I think we both were in disbelief. Within an hour of getting to work, believe it or not, I got another response from Will. He said, how was your night? Um, now things were getting slightly forward. Hmm..ok, I was thinking, Will, slow it down brother. Isn’t that a tad personal and quite a jump from a greeting of hello and how are you? Besides, isn’t “how was your night” words of a song title? Ok, ok! Either Will is that nice or something is up. It was time to test this sudden interest in me and so I responded with, “do you want the truth or just fluff”. I mean what male willingly stops and takes the time to listen to a female stranger’s rantings. Ha! To my surprise, Will was very willing to listen and wasn’t giving up. His response to my question was, “well…the truth of course”. Oh, uh uhh! No, no…this is not ok. I’m sorry Will, you handsome man, but this greeting affair must come to an end. I certainly wasn’t going to initiate any further conversation. After all, I am a happily married woman. It was at that moment that my youngest daughter’s wise words returned to me, “the real celebrities have a blue checkmark by their name.”OH! Now it was on! It was time to get FBI Agent Brown on the scene. With frustration and distress, I looked up Harry and Will on Twitter and Instagram and located the blue checkmark. Yes, and there it is a pretty blue checkmark. I then located Will and Harry from my messages. Yes, and there it is a pretty blue diamond. Wait! What? A diamond. This was turning into a flippin’ Lucky Charms game with me as the Leprechaun! At the sight of the diamond, I did what any happily married slightly middle-aged woman would do. I mumbled to myself while my hormones sent up flares. Oh, hell NO! I ain’t no naive, namby-pamby…(well, maybe for a second). Showing no remorse, I went into my social media account settings and with such hostility, I turned those suckers in. Not only that but I hit my block button with such force it left a lasting fingerprint. Ain’t no one going to mess with this GEM! My mama raised no fool!
The fame of not being recognized by a celebrity took its toll but eventually wore off. 😀 When life gives you lemons you write about it. At least this is what I do. It was an eventful week packed full of many emotions, to say the least from understanding accelerated mobile pages to fighting off imitation celebrities. But, I am happy to report I’ve used my highly intense tattle-tale -blocking skills every day this week to wort off several other so-called celebrities trying to get all up in my business. They are relentless! What else can I say but sorry boys, this God-fearing woman is unavailable and knows and studies her shapes. Move along!!
Disclaimer: I realize I made this subject humorous but please ladies be careful out there. Please don’t be taken in by these impostors. To all the celebrities, I apologize for the fools who use your presence and prestige to deceive others. Blessings and keep looking for the blue checkmark!